So you think you can be a Lagos Big Girl?
The quest to becoming a Lagos Big Girl is not for the faint-hearted, I mean, look at what happened to Jenifa. It takes a lot of dedication, patience, and most importantly, funds. Because we did a guide on how to become a Lagos Big Boy and didn’t want the ladies to feel left out, here’s what you need to become a Lagos Big Girl.
N/B: These are just jokes. Well most of them anyway. We believe that you’ll use your spirit of discernment to separate the wheat from the chaff. Now let’s proceed.
1. You need to transform your skin colour. If you’re already light skinned, you need to be lighter
If you’re dark skinned, the big girl zone is not for you o. Find a way to bleach your skin, and do it well. You need to be reborn and go through a total transformation. We recommend Bobrisky’s bleaching creams. It would do a clean job, and you won’t have any dark spots or knuckles.
2. The Latest weaves
Brazillian hair, Malaysian hair, Funmi hair, any kind of hair at all. You must have it. It must be at least 18 inches in length, the short weave is for small girls. It should also be the expensive type, that looks like actual human hair, you don’t want anybody calling you out for using cheap hair.
3. A pair of Louboutins
We weren’t joking when we said that you’d need serious funds for this adventure. You need a shoe closet filled with designer items, and it must include a pair of Louboutins. You also need to always have it at the back of your mind that Lagos girls have a way of spotting fake items immediately. So don’t think you’re sharp and buy the fake version, it will haunt you.
Image- Wikipedia
4. Designer bags
Your handbags and purses also need to be designer picks. So make sure you’re always spotted with one. Again, do not attempt to go the fake route.
image:uk.louisvuitton.com
5. The latest iPhone
You will need the latest iPhone if you truly want to be a member of the big girl crowd. Selfies are also really important, and the iPhone camera will give you the best quality selfies for your Instagram and Snapchat.
Images by Gadgets.ndtv.com
6. Waist trainers and body shapers
You need your body to always be picture perfect, and that hourglass figure is a must. So you have to invest in a few waist trainers and body shapers for the perfect Lagos Big Girl body.
Image- waisttrainer.ca
7. An Instagram account with at least 5,000 followers
You need to create a solid presence online and let people know you’ve arrived. Post pictures every day, and show off all your outfits. You must have at least 5,000 followers before you can even be taken seriously.
Image- YouTube
8. Your face must always be on fleek
You can’t slack at all with your makeup. Each time you appear, you face must be ‘beat’ to ‘da gawds’. You have to upgrade from Risikat to Rita and show them you mean business.
Image: YouTube
9. Your nails must be on fleek too
Your days of getting a manicure once in three months are over. You need to have your nails always on fleek and real for the “gram”.
Image: Pinterest.com
10. Get featured on Aso Ebi Bella
We know it might be difficult for you to get a post written about you on Bella Naija or Linda Ikeji, but there’s still something you can do. Attend a wedding in your ultimate slay outfit, and get featured on ‘Aso Ebi Bella’. Do this regularly, and you’ll blow before you know it.
Image – Bella Naija
11. Hang out with already established Big Girls
Find a way to make friends with the already established big girls, attend parties with them, have brunch with them, and make sure you put them on your Snapchat and Instagram. Famz celebrities if you can too, anything to put you on the big girl list.
Photo: LeadersOfAfrica/Instagram
11. Get a sleek ride
You need a nice ride to cruise in, something simple, classy and expensive. If you can’t afford that, Uber is there for you. Make sure you use Uber everywhere and subtly drop hints about it, like “oh, my uber driver was so late”. You’ll definitely grab people’s attention.
Image: Pinterest
12. A foreign accent
It doesn’t matter if you’ve never gone beyond the borders of Nigeria. Fake it till you make it. Whenever you speak, it must be either the British or American accent that leaves your mouth.
Image- BuzzNigeria
13. A cute puppy
Think of the puppy as an accessory. A white puppy is the ultimate selfie accessory and will get you all the ‘oohs and awws’ on Instagram.
Image: Pinterest
Did we leave anything out? Let us know in the comments section! You might also want to see The complete guide to becoming a Lagos Big Boy.
The post The Complete Guide To Becoming A Lagos Big Girl appeared first on OMGVoice.Com.
